What are Attachment Wounds?

In our early years, we’re wired to seek safety and comfort in our primary caregivers. This instinct is rooted in our survival, since we can’t care for and protect ourselves when we’re little. If we receive predictable and consistent care we develop healthy self esteem, learn to regulate our emotions and nervous system, and trust that we can depend on others when we need to. 

When care is inconsistent, neglectful, or harmful, it’s another story. Because our relationships with our caregivers are central to our survival as children, inconsistency, neglect, and harm in these connections can register as a profound threat. That’s not necessarily because those looking after us were bad people, but because, as kids, we have so little power to protect ourselves. Even moments that might seem small in hindsight can feel enormous to a young nervous system. This is where attachment wounds begin: in the places where we needed safety, gentleness, or attunement and didn’t receive that in a way that worked for us.

How These Wounds Show Up

Many of us carry attachment wounds without realizing it, and they pop up in our relationships and day-to-day life. You might notice them in partnerships that feel chaotic or confusing, in hypervigilance toward the emotions of others, or in everyone else’s needs feeling more important than your own. Or maybe they live in the sense that you have to get social interactions “right”, or in the tightening that comes when you think about letting your guard down. 

However they appear, once our attachment wounds are triggered it’s not our most authentic self showing up, it’s parts of us we developed during past distress to keep safe and keep going. 

How Therapy Can Help Attachment Wounds

It’s my intention that therapy offers a space to understand how past wounds are shaping your present-day experiences. Together we’ll examine what surfaces automatically as you navigate the world and people around you. We’ll discover which patterns were once protective but now feel limiting, and explore ways to shift them so you can move towards connection, joy, authenticity, and ease. We do this at a pace that feels safe for your system, honouring your inner wisdom about what you need.